This week — starting Thursday! — we’re going to have socks for sale. $10 a pair, two different styles. The normal thing to do would be to tell you about the new items we have for sale, maybe make a sign or something, and then go about our business as effective capitalists.

We don’t really deal in “normal”, though. We’re pretty goddamn pumped about these socks.

So we made a beer for the socks. I Was A Teenage Sock Model. If you buy a pair of socks you get a dollar off a pint of it. Beer for socks.

A curious thing happened, though: the sock beer seemed to be a sort of Rorschach test for people. People get music in their heads when we tell them the name, but it isn’t always the same song.

So. Let’s have a playlist, for a beer, for socks. We love those damn socks.

Queens of the Stone Age: “I Was A Teenage Hand Model”

The obvious choice, right? I’m going to be honest here and say that I have not listened to nearly as much Queens of the Stone Age as I should have.

Against Me!: “I Was A Teenage Anarchist”

This has been my go-to earworm when we discuss the socks, because it’s Against Me and so of course it is. Then I tend to stream-of-consciousness queue up their “Baby, I’m An Anarchist”.

Wheatus: “Teenage Dirtbag”

This was what Newest CBW Employee Chris Sutton — aka Big Chris, aka Little Chris by people who don’t get irony, gawd — thought of. This video is worth watching just for that goddamn hat.

“Black Socks”

I knew the words to this round a little differently, but you get the idea. I generally still can’t wear black socks without thinking of this song.

The Cramps: “I Was A Teenage Werewolf”

Okay, we get it. People were things when they were teenagers, and now they want to tell us about it. It’s a fully fleshed out genre!