COMMUNITY BEER WORKS TO REBRAND AS “HAMILTON” THEMED BREWERY
Buffalo, NY, April 1, 2016 – Community Beer Works, Buffaloes first nanobrewery, announced today that as part of their expansion they will be adopting the theme of the Broadway musical, “Hamilton”.
“High-liiiights!”, the brewery staff yelled, before giving more details.
The change will occur shortly after the brewery’s fourth birthday party, to be held April 16th at their brewery at 15 Lafayette Ave. Dan Conley, self-described “Wizard”, explained: “You only get one opportunity to grow like this. We did not want to throw away our shot.”
Conley takes credit for broaching the subject. “When I first told Ethan he looked at me like I was stupid.”
“I’m not stupid”, they added.
Although the owners all stand behind the decision now, at first the situation was fraught. Conley turned the tide by reminding them they were not Secretery of State.
In addition to launching a new flagship beer — a French saison named Lancelot, after the nickname the Marquis de Lafayette gave himself in the play — many of their existing brands will be assuming new identities.
Frank, their American Pale Ale, will become Alexander, after the eponymous Hamilton
The Whale, their brown ale, will now be known as Hurricane
Amazing Larry, the cream ale which has already been renamed from Nouveau Riche, will become Hercules Mulligan, after the member of the revolution who boasted about having intercourse over four sets of corsets
Stout Affective Disorder, commonly shortened to SAD, will be reborn next winter as Sept Huit Neuf, which of course are the words that Eliza Hamilton repeated as she sobbed over the lifeless body of her son Philip
Oh my god just listen to it already Dan will not goddamn shut up about it.
ABOUT COMMUNITY BEER WORKS
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