Halloween is this Saturday. I know, most people already have their costumes, and, indeed, have already gone to parties!
But this post is for the rest of us: the procrastinators, the dilly dalliers. We have four days to choose a costume, one that is fun and clever and reflective of our interests and doesn’t appropriate cultural traditions of anyone we’ve exploited for generations. Sure, you could buy a leather jacket from Goodwill and say “I’m the 9th Doctor!” but that’s too easy. And also Goodwill doesn’t have any suitable leather jackets this time of year not that I’ve checked.
Without further ado: some quick costumes to throw together to tell the world “I like beer!”
Gary Growler Head
What you’ll need: A growler, a jacket, comfort with the knowledge that hiking your shirt up to cover a growler will probably expose some of your belly all night.
Construction: Put a growler on top of your head. Zip up the jacket.
What it says about you: “Ooh, I’m spooky and have a 64 ounce glass container for a head!”
Comically large BreadHive pretzel
What you’ll need: 86 pretzels.
Construction: Carefully untangle each pretzel. Thread a needle end to end, and then carefully mold the undone pretzels into a re-done pretzel.
What it says about you: I conflate pretzels with beer; I have superhuman willpower to have not eaten these pretzels already.
CBW SuperFan
What you’ll need: CBW t shirt, CBW hoodie, CBW winter hat, CBW pint glass, two CBW growlers, one CBW half growler, one CBW prepaid growler card.
Construction: Come to Community Beer Works, 15 Lafayette Ave 14213, on Thursday from 3-7, Friday from 3-8 or Saturday from 12-4.
What it says about you: I have MSRP $181, not including beer, and I am CBW’s favorite person!!
Sexy Untappd Checkin
What you’ll need: Whiteboard or construction paper, markers and nothing else. Ooh la la!
Construction: Draw the facsimile of the check in while ignoring the worried looks from your wife and children.
What it says about you: “Ask me about the badge I just earned, sailor!”
Tim Herzog
What you’ll need: Find yourself some thick yarn or a number of pipe cleaners.
Construction: Give yourself one hell of a mustache and smile.
What it says about you: You knew “Sexy Tim Herzog” was redundant.
Ooh la la.
Photo credits: Elizabeth *rolls eyes* Conley
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