I thought this was a Christmas tradition, but apparently not: two years ago I rewrote The Night Before Christmas (though, rereading it, a lot of the meter is terrible). I skipped 2011 (like a jerk), and then last year wrote Rudy the Local Brewer.

This year, I present: to the theme of “Silver Bells,”

IPA (IPA)
IPA (IPA)
It tastes like hops when you drink it.
Take a sniff (take a sniff)
Get a whiff (get a whiff)
Soon it will be in your glass.

Friday retail, busy retail
People really want Oh Snap!
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas.
Music playing, people saying
“Do you have Nuclear Fire?”
And from every three patrons you’d hear,

IPA (IPA)
IPA (IPA)
It tastes like hops when you drink it.
Take a sniff (take a sniff)
Get a whiff (get a whiff)
Soon it will be in your glass.

Get a brown ale
it’s called The Whale
Or else maybe De Maas:
it’s our beer that goes best when you’re cooking.
Snow is falling
people calling
asking when do we close?
And amid all this bustle I sell

IPA (IPA)
IPA (IPA)
It tastes like hops when you drink it.
Take a sniff (take a sniff)
Get a whiff (get a whiff)
Soon it will be in your glass.